Overwhelmed. That's a feeling I have right now. The feeling of being overwhelmed is powerful. It's a feeling, unlike some others, that consumes you, overtakes you, and penetrates every part of you. Even when you're not thinking about it, you still somehow feel it. That's kinda how I feel.
This feeling of being overwhelmed came about this past week - a unique week among my many weeks here where I got to speak English, eat plentiful, sleep in comfy beds, have access to unlimited internet 24 hours a day, have access to a gym and a lap pool (i.e. sportzzz with Lindsay), not be alone for 20 hours a day, and be in the big capital city of San José with movie theaters, restaurants, and culture. Sounds like a retreat to me, where I should be anything but overwhelmed. The name of this week was MST, also known as Mid-Service Training in Peace Corps vernacular. Yes that's right, I'm mid-way through my service. In fact, I'm past mid-way, I'm on the downhill slope. Not that I'm counting, but I have just about 10 1/2 months left - 10 1/2 months that I learned this week are too short, are already jam-packed with activities, and are 10 1/2 more months I should really experience.
Not to bore you with details, so to try and sum it up in a sentence or two, MST served as a midway point to reconnect with other volunteers and Peace Corps staff, talk about current projects, our successes and challenges, hear new Peace Corps administrative policies, re-motivate us for the year to come (specifically with ice-cream and personalized 'thank you' cards), and even a tiny blurb about 'Life After Peace Corps' (never too early to start thinking about that. Well, it worked. I'm certainly re-motivated, though overwhelmed with new ideas, projects, and tools for continuing to serve my community.
But this puts me in a bit of a funny spot. Though I went away from MST with a bag chockfull of ideas and motivation, this feeling of being overwhelmed has put me back to where I was before MST - feeling a bit stagnate, unsure of what to do, where to go next as I creep into my second year...feeling like 10 1/2 months just simply isn't enough for all I have to do. Funny how motivation can be washed to the wayside with just a bit of laziness, feeling overwhelmed or non-stop rainy days.
Well, I have this little MST folder overflowing with papers here with me to serve as a reminder. Maybe when the suns out tomorrow morning, I will put some of this material into play....after all, I better, I've only got 10 1/2 months left!
Hasta luego.
Some point and shoot snapshots from the week:
First night in the hotel....Korean takeout.....in bed!
Of course, there were team-building activities.
Then there was some haircutting.....
Then there was some fun at Café Mundo.
Annnnnnd then there was some weirdness.
