Love Letter to a Once Foreign Country

Dear Costa Rica,

Don't worry, this won't be the last letter. There will be another.

As I look ahead to my last couple of months with you, I see how you have changed me, taught me, loved me. I never would have guessed it at the start, but you have permeated me - my veins, my blood, my heart, my mind, my soul. Every last bit of you has infiltrated your ways deep inside me. I'm not sure how, but you have. You stealth little thing. And just as I'm about to leave…. In my mind, there needs to be more time for us to grow and love each other in this state. Do you feel the same? Well, the truth is, there isn't. I must move on. I've got other experiences to have, to shape me and affect me much like you did. You will be okay. I will be okay. It's time to go.

You know Costa Rica, things weren't always this wonderful. I'm not going to lie, our relationship has been rocky. And most times it's been a love/hate relationship. But all things in life are challenging. Nothing is easy. If it had been easy, you would have left me unaffected. I would be the same. I would be unaltered. I'm glad I'm not. Thank you.

Taking a look back at our relationship, Costa Rica, is all I can help but do as I think about leaving you.

At first you were new, exciting, and novel. I wanted nothing more than to soak you up, be with you, know you, love you, explore you with all my being. Your exotic, different ways piqued my curiosity. I wondered why you made me so enchanted in the beginning; why you made me laugh, why you made me confused, why you made my cry, why you made me feel so challenged?

It took awhile for me to get used to you. You were so foreign and I barely understood you, let alone could communicate with you. It's the reason we took sometime to get used to each other. And most of what you previously knew of my kind were different, perhaps somewhat superficial? I can only hope I gave you more. And most of what I knew of you previously was superficial. You definitely gave me more.

I'm going to be honest Costa Rica, there were times when I loathed you. I wanted nothing more than to fly away from your vast mountainous earth never to look back. You made me feel so isolated, so alone, so bored, so numb, so frustrated. I lost part of myself, my personality, my zest. I thought about leaving you early, many times, before our time together could play out, prematurely. But I persisted. Something about your subtle whisperings told me it was worth it to do so. I heard them in the wind that danced through my village, in the leaves falling softly from my trees, in the voices of your people.

Your people. It was your people that changed me. Did you know how influential your people are? How they can affect someone so foreign so strongly? Well they can. They did! Your people will be hard to leave behind. Your people shared so much. They taught me so much. They touched me so deeply. Your people gave birth, your people grew, your people collaborated with me, your people shared, your people danced, your people welcomed me, your people supported me, your people died, your people taught me, your people questioned me, your people challenged me. I felt it all from your people.

Most people won't understand what we had, Costa Rica. They won't know how you shaped me. Only I can know. Only I can see how we grew together. Only I was there with you. I wish people could understand but they can't. They can only try. And I really hope they try.

Costa Rica, yes, you will always be here. But what we have will not. It won't be the same when I come back to visit you. It will be different. But do know, that yes, I will come back to visit you.

I will never know another like you, Costa Rica. Your "pura vida". Your "si Dios quiere". Your "tuanis". Your "diay". Your cafectio. Your lluvia. Your biscocho. Your gallo pinto. Your baile tipico. Your topes. Your escuelas públicas. Your pulperias. Your misa. Your everything. You. Are. Unique. And I couldn't be more grateful for that.

We still have some time Costa Rica, another month and a half or so. It's not over yet. So let's savor every last bit.

To my once foreign country I now know so well, much love,

Rebecca